it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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