This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
