is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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