I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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