her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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