Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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