I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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