weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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