Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
