Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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