i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
