I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
