Kiss
Puke
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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