i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
