I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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