Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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