everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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