She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
