Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
