You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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