If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
