no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
