I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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