If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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