his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
