Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
