Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This baby is an asshole
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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