I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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