Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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