I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
