you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
