Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
