hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
