Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
