I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
