She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You had me at "let me see your balls"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
