I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
