It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
