I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
