My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
