Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
