I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
