ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I need to stop coming to work sober
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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