Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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