Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
