Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
