So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
