Sponge bath it is.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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