he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
