I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
