Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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