She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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